The great comebacks

Dad (hillbilly accent): I like shiny things.
Wolfie: I like sharp things.

Klaus got new black Chuck Taylors (we used to call them high-tops in my day. In my mother's day, they were basketball shoes) for school at the beginning of the year, size 13. They're so big they look like clown shoes. So his friend Sky was giving him grief about them. Klaus finally says, "Don't you be dissing my Chucks or I'll beat your ass!"
Sky: "With what, your squeaky red nose?"

Even Klaus had to admit that was a good one. LOL