I just got this message. "I found your blog while researching an article I'm writing for Parents magazine. I'm looking to interview the parents of an exceptional/gifted child. The main goal of this article will be to help parents learn how to deal with their kids' separate needs. In many families, one child is the subject of much attention due to either a positive accomplishment (ie. academic exellence, mvp) or a negative situation (ie. chronic illness, behavior issues). When this happens, a perfectly normal/average child may begin to feel inadequate or left out. I hope to raise parents awareness of this situation and give them tools for dealing with it. I read that your children are grown, but I thought you might be able to connect me to a family with 2 young children (under the age of 10) because of your connection with the Mensa organization."
I'm always willing to help out a fellow writer, but in this case I'm not qualified because my kids are too old for Parents' target audience. Can anyone out there help a brutha' out?
Showing posts with label boys. Show all posts
Showing posts with label boys. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
What's So Great About Preschool?
Well, for one thing, Mom has a chance to run errands or take a nap without being interrupted (assuming there are no younger siblings). On the other hand, there are those that suggest that for our children's (particularly our sons') best intellectual, physical and social development, they should stay home and play with Mom as long as possible.
Newsweek: "Why Are School-Aged Boys Struggling?"
WSJ: "Protect Our Kids From Preschool"
I generally think the anti-intellectual kindergarten movement is one that doesn't necessarily apply to gifted kids--like the milestones lists don't apply--but I just thought I'd throw it out there...
Newsweek: "Why Are School-Aged Boys Struggling?"
WSJ: "Protect Our Kids From Preschool"
I generally think the anti-intellectual kindergarten movement is one that doesn't necessarily apply to gifted kids--like the milestones lists don't apply--but I just thought I'd throw it out there...
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Some Bona Fide Wisdom from the Voice of Ratatouille
You may only know him as the voice of a French rat or as Randy Daytona's first comeback opponent in Balls of Fury, but Patton Oswalt gave the commencement speech at his alma mater this last June and really told it like it is.
"And I remember, so clearly, driving home from that dinner, how lucky I felt to have met someone who affirmed what I was already planning to do after high school. I was going to roam and blitz and blaze my way all over the planet.
Anywhere but here. Anywhere but Northern Virginia. NoVa. You know what a “nova” is? It’s when a white dwarf star gobbles up so much hydrogen from a neighboring star it causes a cataclysmic nuclear explosion. A cosmic event.
Well, I was a white dwarf and I was definitely doing my share of gobbling up material. But I didn’t feel like any events in my life were cosmic. The “nova” I lived in was a rural coma sprinkled with chunks of strip mall numbness. I had two stable, loving parents, a sane and wise little brother and I was living in Sugarland Run, whose motto is, “Ooooh! A bee! Shut the door!”
I wanted to explode. I devoured books and movies and music and anything that would kick open windows to other worlds real or imagined. Sugarland Run, and Sterling and Ashburn and Northern Virginia were, for me, a sprawling batter’s box before real experience began."
Now I doubt the high schoolers get how true this is of them and how much their lives and outlooks will change in the next 15 years. I remember spending my entire senior year wanting to stand in the backyard and scream as loud as I could. Klaus is grumbling about feeling trapped, which I can certainly understand. I wish there was a way I could download this speech into his brain without his knowing I put it there. If he thought they were his own ideas, it would be great. Oh well. Make sure you click the link above to read the speech and find the advice Patton got and the lesson he learned about it.
"And I remember, so clearly, driving home from that dinner, how lucky I felt to have met someone who affirmed what I was already planning to do after high school. I was going to roam and blitz and blaze my way all over the planet.
Anywhere but here. Anywhere but Northern Virginia. NoVa. You know what a “nova” is? It’s when a white dwarf star gobbles up so much hydrogen from a neighboring star it causes a cataclysmic nuclear explosion. A cosmic event.
Well, I was a white dwarf and I was definitely doing my share of gobbling up material. But I didn’t feel like any events in my life were cosmic. The “nova” I lived in was a rural coma sprinkled with chunks of strip mall numbness. I had two stable, loving parents, a sane and wise little brother and I was living in Sugarland Run, whose motto is, “Ooooh! A bee! Shut the door!”
I wanted to explode. I devoured books and movies and music and anything that would kick open windows to other worlds real or imagined. Sugarland Run, and Sterling and Ashburn and Northern Virginia were, for me, a sprawling batter’s box before real experience began."
Now I doubt the high schoolers get how true this is of them and how much their lives and outlooks will change in the next 15 years. I remember spending my entire senior year wanting to stand in the backyard and scream as loud as I could. Klaus is grumbling about feeling trapped, which I can certainly understand. I wish there was a way I could download this speech into his brain without his knowing I put it there. If he thought they were his own ideas, it would be great. Oh well. Make sure you click the link above to read the speech and find the advice Patton got and the lesson he learned about it.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Xavier's Invention
This is Xavier modelling his Happy Place, the final project for his invention unit for science this year. Fully padded and reinforced to protect from those annoying blows to the head, "My Happy Place" allows younger siblings to finally live and play video games in peace by broadcasting the teen-annoying "Mosquito noise". The photo shows how effective "My Happy Place" is against both young and old teens!
Too bad it doesn't really work.
Just Wanted to Share
Klaus on the cover of "International Pirate"
Okay, not really. But if there was an International Pirate magazine, he'd be a great cover model, no?
Klaus Has a Very High Pain Tolerance
Klaus has managed to cause a large bruise and microfractures of the left femur doing 360s on the trampoline. He's been limping for the last month and finally got an MRI last week. Oy. Seems he should have been taken to the ER and been on crutches since he fell. Unfortunately, he's just gotten a job for next summer doing Medieval combat demonstrations (an extension of the boffing he's been doing all year) at the Renaissance Faire here and starts combat training in October. If he's messed up his knee, his career as a knight will be short-lived.
Sunday, May 04, 2008
Butterfly Update
We brought Laurel and Hardy in from the garage about two weeks ago (when it finally looked like spring). Laurel, who had pupated earlier, hatched on May 1, but apparently crawled out onto the mesh roof of the terrarium and fell before his wings were dry. He was still alive, but stuck on his back like a turtle with part of one wing folded behind his back. We brought him outside and sprayed him with water hoping a little moisture and a larger environment might help him. He survived until today, but now we can't find him and since he couldn't fly, we're assuming one of our neighbor birds got him. RIP Laurel.
Hardy, on the other hand, (that's him in the picture) had the good sense to pupate on an actual stick he could crawl onto to sit while his wings were drying. We left him water and half an orange and he hatched (emerged?) yesterday. Interesting because he pupated exactly two days after Laurel did and then hatched two days after Laurel did. Nice timing!
Anyway, it got down to freezing last night so we though we'd wait a day for the weather to warm up before Hardy's release. Hardy was very eager to leave the terrarium today, so we brought him outside this afternoon, let him crawl onto a stick and watched him fly away. We'll be planting more parsley when the garden goes in, so maybe we can raise some more butterflies next year!
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Why School is Not Real Life, Part 3
Boys in Primary Grade Classrooms
By Deborah L. Ruf, Ph.D.
A client couple recently asked me to observe their nearly five-year-old son in his small private school K-1 classroom (that's kindergarten through 1st grade). Their little boy was already tested and found to be exceptionally gifted, so the school was willing to accept him into their program before he was five years old. But he hated school and wasn't making the progress that anyone had envisioned. They told me that the teacher, a young woman in her first year of teaching, was interested in whatever recommendations I might make to "engage" this child in learning at school.
First, I watched the eight little girls vie for top spot by finishing all they were asked to do quickly and perfectly. The girls set to work immediately when the teacher told them what they were to do. I watched the four little boys slide around in their seats-or fall off completely-or get up and walk around, ask to go to the bathroom, rip holes in the paper with pencil and scissors, put their heads on their desks, and otherwise not even begin to do what they were asked to do. The boy I was asked to watch behaved in all the "wrong" ways just as his parents had been told, but absolutely the same way as the other boys in the class.
Is sitting still and doing exactly what the teacher tells you to do a prerequisite for a good life? Is there something wrong with the boys or with the schools for expecting all children to sit still and be quiet? When schools tout their "developmentally appropriate" curriculums, do they talk about allowing active young boys to explore, handle objects, run around, and use their kinesthetic, visual and spatial abilities, the primary learning modes of males? We need to ask ourselves, what is "developmentally appropriate"-and in what ways-for whom?
I am a high intelligence specialist, but when the parents of a bright boy come to me because they are considering early entrance to kindergarten (starting school before the usual age five), I almost always discourage it. The home, preschool, and kindergarten environments are almost always more boy-friendly than grade school because they are more flexible and allow more free choice for the children, much like a good Montessori school. It makes so much more sense to experience one more year at home or in preschool, go to kindergarten for another year of flexibility and playtime, and then skip 1st grade. This way, the child still goes through school somewhat faster, but needs to spend less time in the more structured grade school environment. The problem with this boy's school placement is that it was more like a 1st grade than a kindergarten classroom, and he really didn't need to be there yet.
What did I recommend? I told them he shouldn't even be in school yet. A good daycare would fit his current needs better at this point. At the most, he should go half days or only two to three days a week at this age regardless of his intellectual abilities. In another article I will tell you how much bright kids really learn-or don't learn-in school.
By Deborah L. Ruf, Ph.D.
A client couple recently asked me to observe their nearly five-year-old son in his small private school K-1 classroom (that's kindergarten through 1st grade). Their little boy was already tested and found to be exceptionally gifted, so the school was willing to accept him into their program before he was five years old. But he hated school and wasn't making the progress that anyone had envisioned. They told me that the teacher, a young woman in her first year of teaching, was interested in whatever recommendations I might make to "engage" this child in learning at school.
First, I watched the eight little girls vie for top spot by finishing all they were asked to do quickly and perfectly. The girls set to work immediately when the teacher told them what they were to do. I watched the four little boys slide around in their seats-or fall off completely-or get up and walk around, ask to go to the bathroom, rip holes in the paper with pencil and scissors, put their heads on their desks, and otherwise not even begin to do what they were asked to do. The boy I was asked to watch behaved in all the "wrong" ways just as his parents had been told, but absolutely the same way as the other boys in the class.
Is sitting still and doing exactly what the teacher tells you to do a prerequisite for a good life? Is there something wrong with the boys or with the schools for expecting all children to sit still and be quiet? When schools tout their "developmentally appropriate" curriculums, do they talk about allowing active young boys to explore, handle objects, run around, and use their kinesthetic, visual and spatial abilities, the primary learning modes of males? We need to ask ourselves, what is "developmentally appropriate"-and in what ways-for whom?
I am a high intelligence specialist, but when the parents of a bright boy come to me because they are considering early entrance to kindergarten (starting school before the usual age five), I almost always discourage it. The home, preschool, and kindergarten environments are almost always more boy-friendly than grade school because they are more flexible and allow more free choice for the children, much like a good Montessori school. It makes so much more sense to experience one more year at home or in preschool, go to kindergarten for another year of flexibility and playtime, and then skip 1st grade. This way, the child still goes through school somewhat faster, but needs to spend less time in the more structured grade school environment. The problem with this boy's school placement is that it was more like a 1st grade than a kindergarten classroom, and he really didn't need to be there yet.
What did I recommend? I told them he shouldn't even be in school yet. A good daycare would fit his current needs better at this point. At the most, he should go half days or only two to three days a week at this age regardless of his intellectual abilities. In another article I will tell you how much bright kids really learn-or don't learn-in school.
What to Do with the Know-It-All Kid
Having had three boys and been a Webelos den mother for three years, I can tell you that *all* 9-10 year old boys think they know everything. "I know" is the standard response, even when they clearly don't and/or couldn't have known. "We're going to start work on the new X badge today." "I know."
Aargghhhh.
I can tell you that they do outgrow it, eventually. (With twelve-year-olds, the verbal tic is "Guess how awesome I am!")
It is more complicated with gifted kids who really do know more than the average 4th grader. I think starting a new activity with "What do you already know about this?" and proceeding from there is good for gifted kids. When I teach Junior Great Books, we're supposed to only ask questions that we as adults don't know the answer to. It helps to keep from steering the conversation to a foregone conclusion (which is what many classroom conversations are). Ask "Why?" and "How?" questions more often than the who/what/where variety. That way your son has to use all his prior knowledge and reasoning skills to answer the question. Making up facts can be fun (try the game Balderdash!), but they don't answer non-fact-based questions.
Also, if you're trying to teach him something (say, sewing for example) and he claims he already knows how to do something, ask him to show you. He may have actually figured out how to do smocking or hemming or something. And his way may work or it may not, but there's nothing hurt by trying it his way first.
I have a son who always thinks his way is best. He's particularly good at math and frequently has figured out his own ways to do the math problems. If his way always works, I let him do it his way. If it only works on some of the problems, some of the time, he needs to learn both ways to do the problem. We also try to analyze his method vs. the approved method to find out why one works all the time and his "easier" method is less reliable.
There's nothing wrong with telling him, "No, you don't" when he says he knows something. But if he does know it and you just teach it to him anyway, he may lose faith in your reliability. Let him try things his way first and eventually, he'll come to realize that you both value his intelligence and creativity and that it's okay for him to be wrong, which is a very important lesson, particularly for gifted kids.
Aargghhhh.
I can tell you that they do outgrow it, eventually. (With twelve-year-olds, the verbal tic is "Guess how awesome I am!")
It is more complicated with gifted kids who really do know more than the average 4th grader. I think starting a new activity with "What do you already know about this?" and proceeding from there is good for gifted kids. When I teach Junior Great Books, we're supposed to only ask questions that we as adults don't know the answer to. It helps to keep from steering the conversation to a foregone conclusion (which is what many classroom conversations are). Ask "Why?" and "How?" questions more often than the who/what/where variety. That way your son has to use all his prior knowledge and reasoning skills to answer the question. Making up facts can be fun (try the game Balderdash!), but they don't answer non-fact-based questions.
Also, if you're trying to teach him something (say, sewing for example) and he claims he already knows how to do something, ask him to show you. He may have actually figured out how to do smocking or hemming or something. And his way may work or it may not, but there's nothing hurt by trying it his way first.
I have a son who always thinks his way is best. He's particularly good at math and frequently has figured out his own ways to do the math problems. If his way always works, I let him do it his way. If it only works on some of the problems, some of the time, he needs to learn both ways to do the problem. We also try to analyze his method vs. the approved method to find out why one works all the time and his "easier" method is less reliable.
There's nothing wrong with telling him, "No, you don't" when he says he knows something. But if he does know it and you just teach it to him anyway, he may lose faith in your reliability. Let him try things his way first and eventually, he'll come to realize that you both value his intelligence and creativity and that it's okay for him to be wrong, which is a very important lesson, particularly for gifted kids.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Jack Versus the Possum
I don’t write much about another member of the family, Jack the Wonder Dog (as in “I wonder where that squirrel went?”). He’s a 7yo black lab, border collie mix. People say, “Oh, border collie. He must be pretty smart!” Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), Jack’s not much in the brains department. However, he is very earnest and very tolerant of being spun around on the linoleum and being chased by the hamster.
So, the other night, we pulled into the garage after taking the dog for a ride in the car to find an opossum on the handlebars of Xavier’s bike. It was the first time I’d ever seen a possum anywhere other than the side of the road. The animal froze—apparently the possum mothers tell their babies our vision is based on movement—and we tried to scare him away with the car horn and shouting at him out the window. No soap.
So we let the dog out of the car. Did he go directly to the possum? No, he went directly to the door into the house. DH and I start yelling, “Jack! Get the possum!” so Jack dutifully runs to the other side of the garage, sniffs the ground underneath the bike and runs out into the yard. The more we repeat, “Get the possum!” the more frantically Jack runs back and forth between the bike and the driveway. He looked like he might have actually scented something but his actions displayed a certain amount of two-dimensional thinking, as Spock would say.
Finally, Jack looks up, sees the possum and starts to bark. I start to wonder why all this yelling and barking hasn’t brought any boys to the door. We decide this is a teachable moment and get ready to go in to get the boys. As I look away, out of the corner of my eye, I see Jack take off toward the yard. The possum is gone, so fast I never saw him move.
Jack catches him in the front yard and the possum flops over “dead.” I call him off, as DH calls the boys to come see. He really looks dead. His back is contorted, his neck is at an odd angle and his mouth is open. We weren’t sure whether Jack had really hurt him or not. We wait, deciding what we should do next. Eventually, the possum literally lifts his head briefly to see if the coast is clear! Just like in Bugs Bunny!
So, the other night, we pulled into the garage after taking the dog for a ride in the car to find an opossum on the handlebars of Xavier’s bike. It was the first time I’d ever seen a possum anywhere other than the side of the road. The animal froze—apparently the possum mothers tell their babies our vision is based on movement—and we tried to scare him away with the car horn and shouting at him out the window. No soap.
So we let the dog out of the car. Did he go directly to the possum? No, he went directly to the door into the house. DH and I start yelling, “Jack! Get the possum!” so Jack dutifully runs to the other side of the garage, sniffs the ground underneath the bike and runs out into the yard. The more we repeat, “Get the possum!” the more frantically Jack runs back and forth between the bike and the driveway. He looked like he might have actually scented something but his actions displayed a certain amount of two-dimensional thinking, as Spock would say.
Finally, Jack looks up, sees the possum and starts to bark. I start to wonder why all this yelling and barking hasn’t brought any boys to the door. We decide this is a teachable moment and get ready to go in to get the boys. As I look away, out of the corner of my eye, I see Jack take off toward the yard. The possum is gone, so fast I never saw him move.
Jack catches him in the front yard and the possum flops over “dead.” I call him off, as DH calls the boys to come see. He really looks dead. His back is contorted, his neck is at an odd angle and his mouth is open. We weren’t sure whether Jack had really hurt him or not. We wait, deciding what we should do next. Eventually, the possum literally lifts his head briefly to see if the coast is clear! Just like in Bugs Bunny!
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Turning Halo 3 into School
I have been accused of turning everything into school. That is part of my job as a homeschooling mom--interpreting what the boys do in terms of school so Dad and the virtual charter we work with understand it. Halo 3 was released today, so the boys finished their lessons early enough to get busy with the other 118,000 people currently online.
On one of the screens, there was a global map light up to show where everyone was playing. The half the US from the Central Time Zone east was completely lit. So I asked the boys why there was relatively little activity west of here. It didn't take them long to figure out school is still in session in the Mountain and Pacific time zones.
We saw few players in continental Europe (where it's getting pretty late) but three hot spots right in the Baghdad/Kuwait area. Our men and women in uniform working out with Master Chief? That's my guess, although I haven't found any news reports about it. Our soldiers in Iraq did get to try out the Halo 3 Beta last Christmas, so I wouldn't be surprised if they got their own shipments of the game.
It just goes to show that even a video game like Halo can become a lesson in map-reading, and the boys didn't even notice! LOL
On one of the screens, there was a global map light up to show where everyone was playing. The half the US from the Central Time Zone east was completely lit. So I asked the boys why there was relatively little activity west of here. It didn't take them long to figure out school is still in session in the Mountain and Pacific time zones.
We saw few players in continental Europe (where it's getting pretty late) but three hot spots right in the Baghdad/Kuwait area. Our men and women in uniform working out with Master Chief? That's my guess, although I haven't found any news reports about it. Our soldiers in Iraq did get to try out the Halo 3 Beta last Christmas, so I wouldn't be surprised if they got their own shipments of the game.
It just goes to show that even a video game like Halo can become a lesson in map-reading, and the boys didn't even notice! LOL
Sunday, September 23, 2007
I'm Calling Them Laurel and Hardy
DH found a couple of parsley worms/black swallowtail butterfly caterpillars on his parsley yesterday. He brought them in intending to experiment on them (!) or at least observe them for a bit and let them go, but I decided we're going to raise them. So now they're sitting in our 2.5 gal aquarium with a couple of sticks and several stalks of parsley. You would not believe how much these things eat! I mean, I understand they're fattening up to overwinter in hibernation and all, but the amount of poop (called "frass") they produced in the fifteen minutes it took me to find an appropriate home for them was prodigious.
They were pretty much identical yesterday but today one is fatter than the other, so I've named them Laurel and Hardy. Hardy does nothing but eat. Laurel's been climbing the tacky glue at the corners of the aquarium to the mesh roof (very handy to have an aquarium with a top!) and now crawling across it. I'm not sure if he's trying to get out, thinks DH's nearby orchids look tasty or if he's looking for a place to pupate, but they're pretty funny to watch. Caterpillars eat leaves one row at a time, like an ear of corn, or a weed-whacker.
For info on how to raise black swallowtail or monarch butterflies, check out Glorious-Butterfly.com
They were pretty much identical yesterday but today one is fatter than the other, so I've named them Laurel and Hardy. Hardy does nothing but eat. Laurel's been climbing the tacky glue at the corners of the aquarium to the mesh roof (very handy to have an aquarium with a top!) and now crawling across it. I'm not sure if he's trying to get out, thinks DH's nearby orchids look tasty or if he's looking for a place to pupate, but they're pretty funny to watch. Caterpillars eat leaves one row at a time, like an ear of corn, or a weed-whacker.
For info on how to raise black swallowtail or monarch butterflies, check out Glorious-Butterfly.com
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Tomorrow is National Talk Like a Pirate Day!
And we almost forgot! ARRGGGHHHH! Luckily we were doing some pirate madlibs today and I suddenly realized it was nearing the 19th... Nonetheless, we will be flying our pirate flag (which happens to be the colors of Calico Jack Rackham according to the Dangerous Book for Boys) and wearing our pirate kit tomorrow. I expect all ye scallywags'll be doin' likewise!
Sunday, September 09, 2007
Trevor Wins Hamster Ball Derby!
Xavier's hamster, otherwise known as Magical Trevor, won the Hamster Ball Derby at our local Petco yesterday. We were very excited because at the time of the last derby, held last March, Trevor wouldn't go anywhere near humans. Everytime we tried to pick him up or move him to clean his cage, he'd dive down a tube and stay there until we left. And he didn't get any exercise either, because he kept nesting in his wheel.
Then Dad got the brilliant idea to move him into a smaller cage with no access to the "Petting Zone" up top or tubes to hide in. Quickly he got bored of 1.5 sq. ft of living space and we introduced him to the hamster ball concept. Now he runs for 2-3 hours a night, goes down stairs on purpose, including all the way down to the basement if someone leaves the door open. (Don't worry, people. He's heavy and skilled enough that it's a controlled one-stair-at-a-time descent. We've watched him.) If you try to take him out of the ball before he's tired, he refuses to leave. And he loves to chase the dog.
Given that he's more of a marathoner (the Derby training info said to get him to practice every other day for fifteen whole minutes), we weren't sure how he'd do at the Derby, which is more of a sprint. We practiced a little bit in the aquarium aisle to get him used to running away from Sam and toward me. I think he was the only hamster in a field of 14 who consistently ran in the right direction. (So heartbreaking when they'd get halfway down the track, stop and turn back!)
So he won an oval-shaped HamTrac, a blue ribbon, some coupons and bragging rights as the fastest hamster in town, at least for another six months. Xavier is going to enter him in the county fair through 4H next year, so I think this project is off to a good start.
Then Dad got the brilliant idea to move him into a smaller cage with no access to the "Petting Zone" up top or tubes to hide in. Quickly he got bored of 1.5 sq. ft of living space and we introduced him to the hamster ball concept. Now he runs for 2-3 hours a night, goes down stairs on purpose, including all the way down to the basement if someone leaves the door open. (Don't worry, people. He's heavy and skilled enough that it's a controlled one-stair-at-a-time descent. We've watched him.) If you try to take him out of the ball before he's tired, he refuses to leave. And he loves to chase the dog.
Given that he's more of a marathoner (the Derby training info said to get him to practice every other day for fifteen whole minutes), we weren't sure how he'd do at the Derby, which is more of a sprint. We practiced a little bit in the aquarium aisle to get him used to running away from Sam and toward me. I think he was the only hamster in a field of 14 who consistently ran in the right direction. (So heartbreaking when they'd get halfway down the track, stop and turn back!)
So he won an oval-shaped HamTrac, a blue ribbon, some coupons and bragging rights as the fastest hamster in town, at least for another six months. Xavier is going to enter him in the county fair through 4H next year, so I think this project is off to a good start.
Monday, August 27, 2007
Same Train, Different Track
An op-ed in today's EducationGuardian suggests that "Employers' attitudes towards today's teenagers mean that the mature, conscientious and smart are held back." I had hoped this would be a story supporting Robert Epstein's thesis that we are babying our teens too much.
Sixteen-year-old author Charlotte Lytton writes: "It seems that nothing is ever good enough in today's society; we're a nation obsessed by perfection and not even the best seems acceptable anymore. GCSEs are an example of this fixation. Not only are there news reports seemingly daily about how easy they are, but it seems they count for nothing when 16-year-olds decide to venture out into the working world." (links are mine)
But apparently Charlotte thinks we're not babying our teens enough. Colin Willman of the Federation of Small Business (FSB) says in the article on behalf of employers that "The skills that businesses need from school leavers are literacy, numeracy, punctuality, communication skills and an ability to be well-presented."
Charlotte fires back, "But when are we supposed to learn all of these additional skills for the world of work? From reading the papers, it seems pupils are working their socks off at school to be met with disgruntled employers who sack them because they turn up for work five minutes late or their shirt isn't tucked in. After a six-hour school day that can sometimes include double history and mathematics, when do they expect kids to learn the protocol of the work place?"
As much as I sympathize with her schedule, if she's taking double history and mathematics, she should already have the literacy and numeracy skills necessary to babysit or flip burgers. Showing up to work on time with your shirt tucked in should be common sense, something you learn at home, not an additional class. While I agree that many, if not most, teens are much more capable than we let them be, I don't agree that we should lower our expectations of teenaged workers.
Sixteen-year-old author Charlotte Lytton writes: "It seems that nothing is ever good enough in today's society; we're a nation obsessed by perfection and not even the best seems acceptable anymore. GCSEs are an example of this fixation. Not only are there news reports seemingly daily about how easy they are, but it seems they count for nothing when 16-year-olds decide to venture out into the working world." (links are mine)
But apparently Charlotte thinks we're not babying our teens enough. Colin Willman of the Federation of Small Business (FSB) says in the article on behalf of employers that "The skills that businesses need from school leavers are literacy, numeracy, punctuality, communication skills and an ability to be well-presented."
Charlotte fires back, "But when are we supposed to learn all of these additional skills for the world of work? From reading the papers, it seems pupils are working their socks off at school to be met with disgruntled employers who sack them because they turn up for work five minutes late or their shirt isn't tucked in. After a six-hour school day that can sometimes include double history and mathematics, when do they expect kids to learn the protocol of the work place?"
As much as I sympathize with her schedule, if she's taking double history and mathematics, she should already have the literacy and numeracy skills necessary to babysit or flip burgers. Showing up to work on time with your shirt tucked in should be common sense, something you learn at home, not an additional class. While I agree that many, if not most, teens are much more capable than we let them be, I don't agree that we should lower our expectations of teenaged workers.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Then Why Call Them "Young Adults?"
And I thought reading diaries and secretly drug-testing your own teen was bad. A couple of articles about the infantilization of human children crossed my desk yesterday. On the one hand, in the Mar/Apr 2007 issue of Psychology Today, psychologist Robert Epstein says, "Imagine what it would feel like—or think back to what it felt like—when your body and mind are telling you you're an adult while the adults around you keep insisting you're a child. This infantilization makes many young people angry or depressed, with their distress carrying over into their families and contributing to our high divorce rate. It's hard to keep a marriage together when there is constant conflict with teens.
We have completely isolated young people from adults and created a peer culture. We stick them in school and keep them from working in any meaningful way, and if they do something wrong we put them in a pen with other "children." In most nonindustrialized societies, young people are integrated into adult society as soon as they are capable, and there is no sign of teen turmoil. Many cultures do not even have a term for adolescence. But we not only created this stage of life: We declared it inevitable. In 1904, American psychologist G. Stanley Hall said it was programmed by evolution. He was wrong."
On the same day, I read this in London's EducationGuardian: "A school uniform maker said yesterday it was "seriously considering" adding tracking devices to its clothes after a survey found many parents would be interested in knowing where their offspring were. ...
Clare Rix, the marketing director, said: "As well as being a safety net for parents, there could be real benefits for schools who could keep a closer track on the whereabouts of their pupils, potentially reducing truancy levels."
No comments on whether this would increase adolescent anger toward the parents, but common sense says it will. And I'm not sure I agree that teen angest is the cause of the high divorce rate, but are there really parents out there who have no idea who (yes, I mean "who") their "young adults" are and what they are doing? I suppose I may have been blessed with hyper-responsible teens, but it would never occur to me to put a tracking device in my child's clothing, nor would I allow the school to do it for help with "truancy issues." If we want children to grow up to be responsible adults, we need to give them responsibility (appropriate to their age, of course) and treat them with respect, not do everything for them until they're 30, then push them out the window into adulthood.
DH and I were just discussing this with regard to Klaus' first week at college. DH has emailed him half a dozen times and then got mad when he didn't get an instant answer. I reminded him we need to stop micromanaging the boy (although the boy does need more micromanaging than some because of the ADD). Then I told him there is nothing more demoralizing than being about to take some initiative or to handle something on your own, and then your parent tells you to do that very thing.
For example, "Hm, I think I'll take the dog for a walk to get some exercise," thinks Wolfie, feeling very grownup and responsible. "Why don't you take the dog for a walk?" yells Mom as he's hooking up the dog's collar in the other room. Now walking the dog is a chore and Wolfie doesn't want to do it anymore. The passive-aggressive thing to do is to pretend you didn't hear, walk into the room where Mom is and announce you're taking the dog for a walk and what did she say? But that just leaves you feeling bitter and untrusted. Better for Mom and Dad to follow up sparingly, if at all, and let the kids surprise us with their ability to be responsible.
We have completely isolated young people from adults and created a peer culture. We stick them in school and keep them from working in any meaningful way, and if they do something wrong we put them in a pen with other "children." In most nonindustrialized societies, young people are integrated into adult society as soon as they are capable, and there is no sign of teen turmoil. Many cultures do not even have a term for adolescence. But we not only created this stage of life: We declared it inevitable. In 1904, American psychologist G. Stanley Hall said it was programmed by evolution. He was wrong."
On the same day, I read this in London's EducationGuardian: "A school uniform maker said yesterday it was "seriously considering" adding tracking devices to its clothes after a survey found many parents would be interested in knowing where their offspring were. ...
Clare Rix, the marketing director, said: "As well as being a safety net for parents, there could be real benefits for schools who could keep a closer track on the whereabouts of their pupils, potentially reducing truancy levels."
No comments on whether this would increase adolescent anger toward the parents, but common sense says it will. And I'm not sure I agree that teen angest is the cause of the high divorce rate, but are there really parents out there who have no idea who (yes, I mean "who") their "young adults" are and what they are doing? I suppose I may have been blessed with hyper-responsible teens, but it would never occur to me to put a tracking device in my child's clothing, nor would I allow the school to do it for help with "truancy issues." If we want children to grow up to be responsible adults, we need to give them responsibility (appropriate to their age, of course) and treat them with respect, not do everything for them until they're 30, then push them out the window into adulthood.
DH and I were just discussing this with regard to Klaus' first week at college. DH has emailed him half a dozen times and then got mad when he didn't get an instant answer. I reminded him we need to stop micromanaging the boy (although the boy does need more micromanaging than some because of the ADD). Then I told him there is nothing more demoralizing than being about to take some initiative or to handle something on your own, and then your parent tells you to do that very thing.
For example, "Hm, I think I'll take the dog for a walk to get some exercise," thinks Wolfie, feeling very grownup and responsible. "Why don't you take the dog for a walk?" yells Mom as he's hooking up the dog's collar in the other room. Now walking the dog is a chore and Wolfie doesn't want to do it anymore. The passive-aggressive thing to do is to pretend you didn't hear, walk into the room where Mom is and announce you're taking the dog for a walk and what did she say? But that just leaves you feeling bitter and untrusted. Better for Mom and Dad to follow up sparingly, if at all, and let the kids surprise us with their ability to be responsible.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Klaus' First Day at College
We dropped the boy off last Saturday with much wailing, moaning and gnashing of teeth (on the parents' part, not his). He was so excited he woke up at 4am. He sounds like he really likes it, at least he did the last time I talked to him.
Klaus, if you read this, call your mother!
Klaus, if you read this, call your mother!
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
A Note From Horrible Ray
"If you're interested in more Horrible Books or Galore Park Books, I'll be doing another Galore Park / Horrible Books Order on September 9, 2007, with all the gory details at : www.horriblebooks.com
Thanks, and all the best,
Ray"
For those of you unfamiliar with Horrible Books, my review is here. Galore Park is another UK series aimed at the middle school set, which covers foreign language (including Latin and Greek), history (not US, of course), geography and other subject British children are expected to learn. I have not see the Galore Park books, but if Ray think they're good enough to import with the Horribles, that's good enough for me.
Thanks, and all the best,
Ray"
For those of you unfamiliar with Horrible Books, my review is here. Galore Park is another UK series aimed at the middle school set, which covers foreign language (including Latin and Greek), history (not US, of course), geography and other subject British children are expected to learn. I have not see the Galore Park books, but if Ray think they're good enough to import with the Horribles, that's good enough for me.
Monday, August 13, 2007
August is the Cruellest Month
I beg to differ with T.S. Eliot, but August is much more cruel than April. We are now at the point where we've bought everything we can carry for Klaus' dorm room. He's registered for classes, had his physical and paid (at least part) of his tuition. So all we have to do is wait.
And wait.
It's too early to pack.
And wait.
It's too early to say goodbyes.
And wait.
But it's too late to change your mind.
And wait.
It's too early to pack.
And wait.
It's too early to say goodbyes.
And wait.
But it's too late to change your mind.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
It's Official!
Klaus admitted today that he does want to go to Simon's Rock, so we've sent in his deposit and begun the process of figuring out how we're going to pay for this, cancelling fall classes we'd already signed him up for, scheduling a physical, etc. etc. etc. before August 17th.
Getting college plans finalized in April is much easier than July. Of course, Klaus has a history of drastically changing his schooling plans at the last minute, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I rather feel like we've not only changed horses midstream but changed from a horse to a horseless carriage. Let's hope the engine isn't flooded!
Getting college plans finalized in April is much easier than July. Of course, Klaus has a history of drastically changing his schooling plans at the last minute, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I rather feel like we've not only changed horses midstream but changed from a horse to a horseless carriage. Let's hope the engine isn't flooded!
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