Tomorrow is National Talk Like a Pirate Day!

Aye, Mateys, it's that time of year again! Here are some Pirate Myths from Wired Magazine to peruse while you're quaffin' yer grog!

Leveling the Playing Field

Lest there be any confusion, my thesis is this: There is no level playing field. And their shouldn't be.

This is America. We're a meritocracy, a land of individuals governed by capitalism. All this means that to the victor go the spoils. We're workers, not "wait for someone to level the playing field for me" victims. At least we shouldn't be. But I'm afraid that we're raising a generation of "nobody tries hard, everybody wins" couch potatoes.

It is not okay to hold a competition in which everybody wins. What is the point of that? "The people who don't win might get their feelings hurt," some say. And they're right. And getting their feelings hurt might spur them to try harder next time. If everybody wins, what's the point of trying? Where's the incentive to spend three weeks (or months!) collecting data for the science fair, when the kid who put his display together two hours ahead of time gets the same recognition? What's the point of judging said science fair and awarding scores but not telling anyone who got the best score? Why bother holding a science fair at all?

It is not okay to brand entire groups of people as "physically-challenged." If a kid has cerebral palsy, he has cerebral palsy. Big deal. He may also speak fluent French, love baseball and kick ass at Halo III. Does this mean physically-challenged kids speak French and love baseball, etc.? No. John has that constellation of traits. Fred may be an above-the-knee amputee, a competitive swimmer and collect rocks. Nothing in common with John but his gender. So where do we get off calling them both "physically-challenged?" It's completely meaningless in terms of describing anyone but the people it does not describe, that is, those of us who are able-bodied. But then again, I have about as much in common with the able-bodied teenaged girl next door as John and Fred do. "Gets around on two legs vs gets around on less than two legs" Now there's a useful distinction!

Here's another Newspeak distinction for you: "African-American." Surprising enough, Barack Obama, with his African father and American mother, does not call himself "African-American." According to the Wall Street Journal, American citizens born in Africa do not refer to themselves as "African-American." Actress Gloria Reubens once corrected a reporter who referred to her as "African-American." Apparently Ms. Reubens' heritage is actually Jamaican-Canadian.

I understand the reasons behind the change from Black to African-American. Black was considered a perjorative. Surprisingly enough, after twenty years, African-American seems to have become a perjorative, too, at least for more recent immigrants. (ref: WSJ) But this is not my point. My point is, that the term African-American is meaningless. I had a reading group of fifth-grade boys several years ago, which included one African-American boy. We were reading a story about prejudice against Americans of Japanese descent in Hawaii at the time of Pearl Harbor, so we got into a discussion about heritage. Every single white boy at that table knew which Western European country or countries his ancestors had come from, some of them down to the 1/8 and 1/16th.

When I asked my Black student (who had an Arab first name and a Scottish last name) where his family was from, he said, puzzled, "I'm African-American." I nodded and asked him if he knew where his last name had come from, if he had a Scottish grandfather or great-grandfather or if he knew how long his family had been in the country. He repeated, "I'm African-American" as if that was all that was worth knowing. Sure his heritage has got to be an intriguing a puzzle as everyone else's, even if it only goes back to slavery times. Why should he be robbed of his individual heritage by being lumped in with all the other African-Americans?

Here's my point--lumping people into giant PC categories robs them of their individuality for the sake of "not hurting anyone's feelings." For the last twenty years, schools have been "celebrating diversity" by refusing to treat people as individuals, with their own strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes. What they should be doing is celebrating individuals, and teaching them according to their needs. Instead of leveling the playing field, we need to change it altogether. I'm imagining a Venn diagram where playing fields called "math," "science," "World of Warcraft," "literature" and "football" can all stretch out from a center called "Pam." To really do this, we need to be open-minded and flexible in terms of time and space.

Yes, when there is competition, some will do better than others. The others might get their feelings hurt. Those hurt feelings might spur them on to greatness, or it might encourage them to find something else they love enough to work on. Our kids will not learn the value of hard work unless we let them find something worth working hard on. And that's should be our schools' mission.

The Homeschooling Memorial

Quote posted on New Mexico Homeschool Community (NMHSC) website:

Did you know that we have our own homeschooling memorial???- ---

Mount Rushmore, the world's largest stone monument, is a tribute to four Presidents - George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln, and Theodore Roosevelt - who stood for the most honorable principles and highest ideals of America. Besides being great Presidents, what does each of these men have in common? As children, none of them had any regular, formal schooling. They were all self-educated and learned at home! ~Unknown

Here's another one (that isn't exactly true):

"Home schooling is a very old way of doing things. If you look at any of the bills in your wallet or the coins in your pocket, they all have a picture of a homeschooler on them." ~William Lloyd

While I think it's true all the bills have homeschoolers on them, FDR was only homeschooled through the age of 14, and Eisenhower and JFK were not homeschooled at all. In the scheme of things, though, these three are very recent presidents, so I think the argument remains valid.

A Guy Walks into a Bar and Says, "Ouch!"

Stop me if you've heard this one: the world's oldest recorded joke has been traced back to 1900 BC, ...and it's a fart joke. I know, I know, the last time you heard that one, you laughed so hard you fell off your dinosaur.

The Last Lecture

Many of you have probably already heard or read The Last Lecture, given by Carnegie Mellon University professor Randy Pausch. Dr. Pausch gave this lecture last September shortly after being given 3-6 months to live due to incurable pancreatic cancer. Randy Pausch died this morning, but not before leaving the world with some of the best advice you'll ever hear. Our hearts go out to Dr. Pausch's family, friends and colleagues on this difficult morning.

Some Bona Fide Wisdom from the Voice of Ratatouille

You may only know him as the voice of a French rat or as Randy Daytona's first comeback opponent in Balls of Fury, but Patton Oswalt gave the commencement speech at his alma mater this last June and really told it like it is.

"And I remember, so clearly, driving home from that dinner, how lucky I felt to have met someone who affirmed what I was already planning to do after high school. I was going to roam and blitz and blaze my way all over the planet.

Anywhere but here. Anywhere but Northern Virginia. NoVa. You know what a “nova” is? It’s when a white dwarf star gobbles up so much hydrogen from a neighboring star it causes a cataclysmic nuclear explosion. A cosmic event.

Well, I was a white dwarf and I was definitely doing my share of gobbling up material. But I didn’t feel like any events in my life were cosmic. The “nova” I lived in was a rural coma sprinkled with chunks of strip mall numbness. I had two stable, loving parents, a sane and wise little brother and I was living in Sugarland Run, whose motto is, “Ooooh! A bee! Shut the door!”

I wanted to explode. I devoured books and movies and music and anything that would kick open windows to other worlds real or imagined. Sugarland Run, and Sterling and Ashburn and Northern Virginia were, for me, a sprawling batter’s box before real experience began."

Now I doubt the high schoolers get how true this is of them and how much their lives and outlooks will change in the next 15 years. I remember spending my entire senior year wanting to stand in the backyard and scream as loud as I could. Klaus is grumbling about feeling trapped, which I can certainly understand. I wish there was a way I could download this speech into his brain without his knowing I put it there. If he thought they were his own ideas, it would be great. Oh well. Make sure you click the link above to read the speech and find the advice Patton got and the lesson he learned about it.

Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog

So, something good came out of the writer's strike. While waiting for the contract to be settled, writer Joss Whedon (of Buffy the Vampire Slayer fame) decided to work on a side project that would both keep him busy and show that there is money to be made off original internet content. (The writer's strike was about appropriate compensation for original internet content. The bosses swore there was no way to determine how money was to be made on the internet, citing YouTube as an example.)

Anyway, Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog is a three act, fully produced half hour show starring Neil Patrick Harris as Dr. Evil. The songs are singable, the acting and directing is professional and the writing is clever--just as we'd expect from Joss and his Mutant Enemy crew. The show is being uploaded in three acts over the course of this week. Eventually it will be available for purchase through iTunes and direct-to-DVD. Click on the link to check it out!

Just Wanted to Share

Klaus on the cover of "International Pirate"
Okay, not really. But if there was an International Pirate magazine, he'd be a great cover model, no?

Why We Hate Homeschoolers

Here's the latest article to be making the round of the homeschool boards: SONNY SCOTT:Home-schoolers threaten our cultural comfort from the Northeast Mississippi Daily Journal. While I don't usually see this amount of Bible quoting in a newspaper article, otherwise I think Mr. Scott makes an interesting point.

He writes: "Why do we hate (or at least distrust) these people so much?

Methinks American middle-class people are uncomfortable around the home schooled for the same reason the alcoholic is uneasy around the teetotaler.

Their very existence represents a rejection of our values, and an indictment of our lifestyles. Those families are willing to render unto Caesar the things that Caesar’s be, but they draw the line at their children. Those of us who have put our trust in the secular state (and effectively surrendered our children to it) recognize this act of defiance as a rejection of our values, and we reject them in return. "

This is absolutely true. The biggest supporters and the most defensive reactions to our decision to pull our kids out of public school came from public school teachers. The defensive ones (and the ones in the minority) were the one who had their own kids in public school. That was one of the reasons I began to rethink our school--I found out most of the teachers with school-aged kids did not send them to public school. (Things that makes you go, "HMMMMM".)

But Scott's article touches on another point that I happened to be musing about today. "Young families must make the decision: Will junior go to day care and day school, or will mom stay home and raise him? The rationalizations begin. "A family just can't make it on one income." (Our parents did.) "It just costs so much to raise a child nowadays." (Yeah, if you buy brand-name clothing, pre-prepared food, join every club and activity, and spend half the cost of a house on the daughter’s wedding, it does.) And so, the decision is made. We give up the bulk of our waking hours with our children, as well as the formation of their minds, philosophies, and attitudes, to strangers. We compensate by getting a boat to take them to the river, a van to carry them to Little League, a 2,800-square-foot house, an ATV, a zero-turn Cub Cadet, and a fund to finance a brand-name college education. And most significantly, we claim “our right” to pursue a career for our own "self-fulfillment."

Many people (including my mother) thinks I have the "luxury" to stay home because DH is a physician. And that's true. I can't tell you how grateful I am that I don't have to worry (anymore) about where my next meal is coming from and whether the child support check will come in time to pay the mortgage. I've been poor and it sucks.

But we also have made conscious decisions throughout our married life to live below our means. At the end of medical school, DH was torn between being a dermatologist and being a surgeon. As a surgeon, he would have had job satisfaction and more money. And, mostly likely, a divorce, like most surgeons have. Even the minor uptick in the number of hours he worked this spring has caused a major increase in marital tension. (Luckily it's temporary.)

When we moved to our small city ten years ago, I gave up the idea of fixing up a grand Victorian house because the chaos and continuing expense would have given me satisfaction and a beautiful home and, most likely, a divorce. DH doesn't do well with chaos, although luckily for me, he's grown more tolerant over the years. I'm also in the process of choosing not to pursue every opportunity offered to me as a gifted advocate right now because I've made a commitment to DH and to the boys to be here to school them until they're ready to leave, not until *I'm* bored with it and ready to move on. That's one of the reasons this blog has become so erratic.

Yes, I have to keep repeating to myself, "They're only 13/14/17 once. There's time later for globe-trotting travel on behalf of gifted children everywhere." The idea appeals. But there will still be gifted kids in need of an advocate in five years. I hope. ;-)

And Bah Humbug to You, Too, Hubble!

Apparently, Mars is going to be shining so brightly tonight, that Santa won't need him to guide the sleigh. Check out this story (and a very funny revision of Rudolph's song) from AP science writer Seth Borenstein: Mars glows, no need for Rudolph's nose

Jack Versus the Possum

I don’t write much about another member of the family, Jack the Wonder Dog (as in “I wonder where that squirrel went?”). He’s a 7yo black lab, border collie mix. People say, “Oh, border collie. He must be pretty smart!” Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), Jack’s not much in the brains department. However, he is very earnest and very tolerant of being spun around on the linoleum and being chased by the hamster.

So, the other night, we pulled into the garage after taking the dog for a ride in the car to find an opossum on the handlebars of Xavier’s bike. It was the first time I’d ever seen a possum anywhere other than the side of the road. The animal froze—apparently the possum mothers tell their babies our vision is based on movement—and we tried to scare him away with the car horn and shouting at him out the window. No soap.

So we let the dog out of the car. Did he go directly to the possum? No, he went directly to the door into the house. DH and I start yelling, “Jack! Get the possum!” so Jack dutifully runs to the other side of the garage, sniffs the ground underneath the bike and runs out into the yard. The more we repeat, “Get the possum!” the more frantically Jack runs back and forth between the bike and the driveway. He looked like he might have actually scented something but his actions displayed a certain amount of two-dimensional thinking, as Spock would say.

Finally, Jack looks up, sees the possum and starts to bark. I start to wonder why all this yelling and barking hasn’t brought any boys to the door. We decide this is a teachable moment and get ready to go in to get the boys. As I look away, out of the corner of my eye, I see Jack take off toward the yard. The possum is gone, so fast I never saw him move.

Jack catches him in the front yard and the possum flops over “dead.” I call him off, as DH calls the boys to come see. He really looks dead. His back is contorted, his neck is at an odd angle and his mouth is open. We weren’t sure whether Jack had really hurt him or not. We wait, deciding what we should do next. Eventually, the possum literally lifts his head briefly to see if the coast is clear! Just like in Bugs Bunny!

Current History

Many people believe that history only happens to dead people--it's all dusty books and talking heads from long, long ago, too long ago to be relevant to what is happening today. Not true.

No, this isn't going to be a "those who do not learn from history" speech. I just want to point out, as a recent AP article has done, that every big news story is our history. The 35W bridge collapse in Minneapolis is just as much a part of our history as 9/11 and World War II.

So, in the spirit of saving first person accounts of current history, this is the email I got from the Goddess of Asphalt in Minneapolis on August 8, 2007, with her take on the bridge collapse:

"This is a link to a livejournal page. It has some of the most heart stopping photos of our crumbled bridge. It also shows how many ordinary citizens came to help. It makes me sad that the press is looking for a scapegoat and calling us Minnesotans that go to places like the Stone Arch Bridge "Gawkers". I was there yesterday and it had the air of a funeral. Some people cried, some prayed and many just stood in disbelief. There were flowers, messages and a solitary American Flag.

I think Minnesotans need a place to mourn and take in the enormity of what has happened. It is really hard to get your mind around. I work in the construction industry and it is hard for me to comprehend. This bridge was 2000 ft long, 6 lanes wide, not including the breakdown lanes. The World Trade center towers were each about 1,368 ft tall, so this is a LOT of concrete, steel and rebar.

We have confirmation that there are 80 vehicles in the water, on the crumpled decks and on the parts that have not completely fallen. Considering that our injured topped 100 and the fatalities will probably be under 20, we were very very lucky.

Thanks to all of you for your calls and emails seeing if I was ok and if my friends were ok. It made a horrible situation easier to take knowing I had all of you there.

The commentary [on the linked page] is in Russian, but I went to freetranslation.com and got a rough translation:

"On August, 1st at 18:10 on local time (03:00 Moscow time) in Minneapolis the bridge through Mississipi has fallen. On preliminary data were lost 9 person (on specified on today's evening - 4 persons), 20 are considered gone. In the river have appeared about 50 cars. The governor of state Tim ïîëåíòè has told, that in the school bus which went at this time on the bridge, there were 60 children, some of them are wounded.

On the bridge constructed in 1967, repair work were spent. The length of a design made 160 meters, height above water - about 20 meters. In day the bridge served up to 2000 thousand cars."

Can Kids Run the World Better Than Adults?

That's the question behind Kid Nation, a new reality show where 40 kids, aged 8-15, try their hands at running a New Mexican ghost town "with no parents or teachers" (although I presume the cameramen and producers are all adults). Click the link above to see the promo and learn more about the kids. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that most of the kids want to be actors--why else put yourself through a New Mexico summer with no indoor plumbing? The show airs beginning September 19.

Then It Rained on Our Parade

Promoting 4-H is part of each individual clubmember's obligation to the club, and each club's obligation to the national organization. As part of fulfulling this obligation, our club decided we would build a float for the Memorial Day parade here in town--throw some candy, pass out some flyers, advertise Kid's Day at the county fair. We decided on the theme: "4-H: It's Not Just for Farmers Anymore," decorated the float with some of the different projects members can do, and each of the kid's dressed up to represent one of their projects. Xavier wore his Dracula costume from the Drama Fest. Wolfie's been participating in the Dog project, so he brought the dog. We had woodworkers, bug hunters, photographers, a chef and one boy dressed up as a beekeeper.

The Memorial day parade was a smashing success so we decided we'd do a second parade today in a nearby small town. Despite the town's size, this parade was a big deal. I've never seen so many beauty queens in my life--at least, not in person. The Shriners were there, of course, and the local high school band, plus local businesses, Brownies, the fire department, all the things that make a small town parade perfect.

You may have guessed from the title what happened next. The parade started at 1:30, so did the rain. The dark clouds on the horizon moved away from us, but the lighter the sky got, the more it rained. We sheltered under a tent until it was our turn to go (we were towards the end) but were still soaked before we even got onto the parade route. Most of the beauty queens sat in their convertibles and waved through the rain, just like they were supposed to, although I'm pretty sure the Cranberry Queen just left. Lots of the spectators were leaving, too.

And 4-H? The show must go on! We rode through the storm while the paper letters on the float crumpled and tore, threw candy in the rain-swollen gutters, waved (goodbye) to the spectators and came up with a bunch of new slogans:
"Join 4-H: I've never been so wet!"
"I think my toes are pruning: Join 4-H!"
"You should see how much fun we have when we're dry!"
"Thank you for sticking around!"

And the kicker? You already know: by the time we had walked the mile and a half back to our car, the rain had stopped. Next time we build a float with a roof!

Hoist the Colours, Me Hearties!

We're flying the Jolly Roger today because Pirates of the Caribbean opens tonight. Granted the second installment, Dead Man's Chest, was a disappointment, but Pirates 3: At World's End is just as epic and just as witty at the first one. Just what you need to tide you over until National Talk Like a Pirate Day (Sept. 19).

I Can Read This, So I Thank My Mother

Normally I'm not a big fan of the Dobsons, but Linda Dobson has a great Mother's Day column in this month's Home Education Magazine:
I Can Read This, So I Thank My Mother

An Oldie but a Goodie

Purely by coincidence, both Wolfie and Xavier are studying plants in science at the moment. (Xavier's still whizzing through 7th grade science but he's at least interested enough to try some of the activities--I hesitate to call them "experiments--which is more than I could say about 6th grade science.)

Anyway, yesterday's activity required an emergency trip to the store for celery, so he could put a stalk in colored water to watch it to "demonstrate how water is transported to the leaves," (read: "To watch it change color"). A classic elementary school project, although we always did it with carnations. Celery is cheaper, I suppose. I now have a stalk of celery that is both green and a disgusting shade of purple.

I ordinarily wouldn't consider this blog-worthy, but the boys got all excited about the purple celery and decided to extend the experiment. We now have three carnations--white, yellow and pink--in three vases of water in the front window. They're trying to see if the already colored carnations will take up the color in the water and whether the color will mix, i.e. will the yellow carnation in the blue water turn green or yellow with blue edges? Will the dyed pink carnation take up the blue water and turn purple?

The second and third experiments are with houseplants. Will watering a plant with colored water make variegated leaves or white flowers turn color? We're using a diffenbachia and a Japanese peace lily for this experiment. Xavier is watering the diffenbachia with purple water and Wolfie is watering the lily with pink/red water. This is clearly a longer term experiment and we may end up testing different strengths of color as well (stronger color = more likely to be taken up into the leaves?) Stay tuned...

I'm excited about this mostly because I hope this means we're beginning to revive their love of learning. Maybe "projects" is no longer a dirty word. I'd been disappointed lately because they had zero interest in developing 4H projects to enter in the county fair. Not that they're not participating in 4H and enjoying it, just that they refuse to compete. And in the meantime, we're looking at scholarships and college apps for Klaus and they all want to know "when have you competed?" and "did you win?" One step at a time.

If anyone else tries these experiments at home, let me know how they go? Maybe we can compare results.

It's the Cheesiest!

Got some time on your hands? So does this cheese. The link takes you to Cheddarvision.tv, where you can watch a cheese wheel ripen in real time! Wow!

Okay, even in America's Dairyland, we don't think this is very exciting. It is an interesting example of guerilla/internet marketing, however. Click on "the red button" and you're taken to an "About us" screen about the cheesemakers and how to buy their products. According to the New York Times (registration required), they've had 900,000 hits so far (presumably more since the NYT article came out). Also check out the time-lapse video on You-Tube, where you can watch the label fall off and be replaced several times.

This cracks me up!

Blizzard #2 Update

Snow on the ground from the weekend blizzard: 12" compacted to 10"
Snow forecast last night: 5-6"
Snow that actually fell last night: ~1" :(
Snow Day on Thursday? Early dismissal, probably
Snow predicted from now until Friday 6 pm: 6-12"
Snow actually falling now (11 am CST)
Snow Day tomorrow??? Priceless!

The Groundhog Was Wrong!

I feel very sorry for the folks in Northern New York who got 11 feet of snow over the course of a week earlier this month. Here in the Great White North, we got 6.5 inches overnight Friday, another six or so overnight Saturday (with blizzard warnings in the wee hours), about a half inch each on Sunday and Monday nights. Now I hear we're in for another 6-12 inches between Wednesday night and Friday afternoon! UNCLE!

So much snow during the week would be cause for celebration around here, if Klaus' district hadn't used both of its built-in school snow days. If they have to call school again Thursday or Friday, they will have to start adding extra school days at the end of the year. Of course, as homeschoolers, this doesn't matter as much, but we're still following the public school's calendar since Klaus is still taking classes there.

I realize that snow blocking us from opening the screen door in the kitchen does not really compare to snow covering the first floor of a house. All I want to know is, "Where's that early spring you promised us, Punxatawny Phil? Could it be that Quentin the Quahog was right all along?"