Tis the night before Christmas and all through the house
Not a creature is stirring 'cept the beep of a mouse
The children are nestled before the tv
While the new Call of Duty plays on the screen.
As I in my kerchief and DH in his cap
Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
But a giant to-do list that reached to me ear!
Now Cookies! Now Wrapping!
Now Meatballs and Groceries!
On Christmas cards, pictures, please blur out the nose rings!
With a look at the list and a sigh of despair
I did all I could do at this time of the year.
Invite the guests early, tell them to bring booze,
for a calm Christmas Eve and an long Christmas snooze.
And I heard Santa say as the brick wall he topped,
"Merry Christmas to all! Perfect next year...(hic) or not!"