Petty Tyrants in the Band Room

My #1 son is 2e, gifted and ADD. When he hit middle school, the whole world fell apart. First off, we didn't realize he was ADD because his giftedness masked it. The teachers at his elementary school were basing his grades on tests, not on whether he turned in his homework. Middle school seems to be the exact opposite.

The biggest problem is with Band, believe it or not. The kids are supposed to fill out practice charts every week and are then graded on how much they practice. #1 son was performing well in class and making A's on all his tests but picking up the piece of paper, bringing it home to sign and then bringing it back to school was completely beyond him. We tried everything to make it easier for him--giving a blanket practice chart approval to the band director, giving #1 permission to forge our names (he refused, too moral LOL). We appealed to his counselor, the school psychologist and the principal who said the decision was Band Director's. Even after the ADD was diagnosed, even though it was obvious through his in-class work that he *was* practicing, Band Director refused to loosen the practice chart requirement for him because "everyone else has to do it." So we taught #1 the concept of "petty tyrant" and accepted the C's on his report card. What else could we do?

To this day (that was two years ago), the requirement is the same. Luckily his medication is helping and now he turns in half of his practice charts instead of none. And the upshot is, my (school identified) musically-gifted son chose not to continue in band in high school because Band Director broke his spirit with the d*** practice charts. If I could have him fired, I would.

That lowest-common-denominator thinking just about killed him. I can only hope the high school will be better.

[I first told this story on Mensa's BrightKids Mailing list. Visit to subscribe!]